


Adieu

by Daraasum



Series: Myfanwy Lavellan [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/M, One Shot, Spoilers for Blackwall Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-08
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-04-19 18:48:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4757096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daraasum/pseuds/Daraasum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It hurt her to wake up alone, but how much did it hurt him to leave?</p><p>Contains spoilers for Blackwall's romance and companion mission.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Adieu

It wasn’t the first time Thom had ever slipped away in the night.

The old beams of the barn loft creaked here and there, the noisiest parts easy to avoid with some careful footwork, and he made it to the stairs in as much silence as he could manage. All he needed was to grab the pack of supplies hidden under the workbench, take the horse(After leaving an apology to Master Dennet, and hoping that the horsemaster wouldn’t miss the old mare too much) and be gone before Skyhold woke. 

He had to be gone before she woke up. 

But Maker, he just needed to look at her one more time. 

Thom had avoided glancing at Myfanwy’s sleeping form when he slipped out from their makeshift bed. Even when he folded her abandoned clothing and left it by her feet, he hadn’t had the heart to look at her. The night, or perhaps early morning, was chill and Thom already missed the feeling of her back against his bare chest. 

He could have climbed back in, pretended he didn’t know who Mornay or Thom Rainier were, keep living a lie just a little longer if it meant he could be holding Myfanwy as she woke. Kiss that perfect little crinkle at the top of her nose, between her eyes, when she groaned and protested the morning light, encourage her just to sleep a while longer, curled against his chest…

And they’d probably be together until the next Age, have a house and two children and a dog, and nugs would flutter over their home every morning. 

_You’re a fucking moron, Rainier._

She’d move on. Thom begged the Maker, or her Creators, the fucking Nug King, that she’d forget the man who left her in the night and someone else, someone better, someone worthy, would come along and Myfanwy would be a happy woman without ever knowing who Thom Rainier was. 

He turned, just to look one last time, and sear the image of Myfanwy sleeping in peace in his mind. 

Thom’s stomach twisted. She was huddled, naked, the heavy fur blanket thrown halfway off of the straw bales, and she looked so small and pitiful that he couldn’t stand it. He couldn’t leave her like that. 

Again with careful steps, he crept back over to where he’d left her, retrieving the blanket and covering her with the utmost care. Myfanwy barely twitched, only curling her knees up tighter. He wasn’t sure if he was even breathing when he let the blanket drape over her. 

His third trip across the loft was as natural as breathing, stepping as lightly as a man of his stature could, and so very quiet that he heard the soft thwump of the fur being thrown to the floor. His blood felt like ice. She must have woken, Maker damn it all! Thom froze in place, frantically racking his brain for anything, any excuse for why he would be creeping out in the night. 

_Or tell the blighted truth and run before she puts one of her daggers through your face._

Thom turned, turning the words over in his mouth in preparation. Just going for a drink of water, needed to relieve himself, something innocent-

Myfanwy was still out like a light. And she’d flung the blanket off again. 

Tucking her in once more, Thom dared a longer look than he’d had before. Peaceful, as he wanted her to be. The shaven sides of her head were prickly as her dark blonde was beginning to grow back. He’d wanted to see how she shaved, maybe offer to help her once he got the hang of it. He could have asked her about her tattoos and listened to her talk about her people and her own clan, in that lilting Dalish accent he’d adored since the day he’d met Myfanwy. 

And he had to go before he lost his nerve entirely. 

For the last time, Thom Rainier left the sleeping Myfanwy Lavellan, and even the sound of her throwing her blanket to the floor for the third time couldn’t stop him. He couldn’t give her a proper goodbye; the note tacked to the wooden griffon was the best he could give her. 

_There is little I can say that will ease this pain. Just know that while it hurt to leave, it would’ve hurt more if I’d stayed. I am deeply sorry._


End file.
